Welcome to IntrusiveShirt.com, where your fashion choices are questionable—but protected.

By browsing, buying, or even just lurking on this site, you agree to the following terms. Don’t pretend you didn’t read it. You clicked here. That counts in court.

1. Terms of Service

You Agree To:

  • Not steal our designs, code, or general vibe.
  • Not sue us because your aunt Karen was offended by a shirt.
  • Not impersonate another person unless it’s hilarious and victimless.
  • Let us email you about cool things unless you tell us to stop.

We reserve the right to cancel your order, ban you, roast you, or redesign the entire site at 3AM for no reason. We are the chaos engine.

2. Copyright & Intellectual Property

All designs, logos, images, and copy are the property of IntrusiveShirt unless otherwise credited.
Don’t steal our work.
Don’t resell our work.
Don’t upload it to Etsy pretending it’s yours. We will find you.
We’re not saying we have a lawyer. We’re saying we know people who read entire Reddit threads for fun.

3. Shipping

Timeframes:

  • Orders are printed on demand and usually ship in 2–4 business days.
  • U.S. delivery: 3–7 business days
  • International delivery: 7–21 days, maybe longer if your country is experiencing “events.”

We ship using reliable services, but once it’s handed off, it’s in the hands of fate, wind, and federal infrastructure.

4. Fulfillment

All shirts are printed when you order. This reduces waste and means your shirt was made just for you.
Fulfillment takes place at print facilities across the U.S. and sometimes globally for international orders—whichever is faster and doesn’t involve a camel caravan, unless we decided it was funny on that day and chose the hump back express.

5. Returns & Exchanges

Eligible If:

  • The shirt is unworn, unwashed, and returned within 30 days.
  • The issue is our fault (wrong item, defect, shirt possessed by ghosts).

Not Eligible If:

  • You “don’t like it anymore.”
  • It “didn’t vibe with your aura.”
  • It was custom and made just for you.
  • You ordered the wrong size because you “don’t believe in charts.”

Contact us at contact@intrusiveshirt.com and we’ll make it right or die trying.
(We won’t die. But we will try.)

6. Cancellations

You may cancel your order within 2 hours of placing it. After that, the shirt has likely entered the void and cannot be recalled.

7. Privacy Policy (Short Version)

We collect your name, email, shipping address, and whatever you type into the order form. We use this data to:

  • Send your stuff
  • Send you updates
  • Not sell your data, ever

We use cookies because every site does. If you’re paranoid, use a VPN and a Faraday cage.

8. Payment Security

Payments are processed via secure third-party platforms (like Stripe, PayPal, etc.). We never see your full card info. Even if we did, we wouldn’t know what to do with it. We barely know how taxes work.

9. Disclaimer of Liability

We are not responsible for:

  • Offended family members
  • Spontaneous compliments
  • Workplace HR violations (don’t wear the “Rocket Jump for Jesus” shirt to church unless you’re prepared for conversation)

By wearing our shirts, you acknowledge that you have a sense of humor and/or a reckless disregard for societal expectations.

10. Contact

For returns, issues, or to confess something weird:
📧 contact@intrusiveshirt.com
We’ll reply as soon as possible, unless it’s Sunday or we’re emotionally unavailable. Just like your dad. (unrelated) I’m stepping out for smokes and ill be back in 20.